搜索此博客

2017年5月22日星期一

Down By the Salley Garden


以下内容来自网上。

重译叶芝《Down By the Salley Garden 》

Down by the Salley Gardens 漫步莎莉花园,
My love and I did meet 幸与伊人相遇。
She passed the Salley Gardens 同游莎莉花园,
With little snow-white feet 纤足洁白如玉。
She bid me take love easy 嘱我善待此意,
As the leaves grow on the tree恰似枝叶相依。
But I being young and foolish 惜我少不更事,
With her did not agree 未解伊人心语。

In a field by the river 徜徉在水之湄,
My love and I did stand与彼悄然伫立。
And on my leaning shoulder 伊人傍我斜倚,
She laid her snow-white hand玉手扶我肩臂。
She bid me take life easy嘱我善自珍惜,
As the grass grows on the weirs如同芳草萋萋。
But I was young and foolish恨我少不更事,
And now am full of tears回首黯然饮泣。

Down by the Salley Gardens漫步莎莉花园,
My love and I did meet有幸邂逅伊人。
She passed the Salley Gardens游园凌波微步,
With little snow-white feet举足罗袜生尘。
She bid me take love easy 嘱我善体此意,
As the leaves grow on the tree恰似枝叶相依。
But I being young and foolish年少轻狂愚蠢,
With her did not agree何曾细听心声?
But I was young and foolish今朝只余悔恨,
And now am full of tears回首泪雨涔涔。

此歌是根据叶芝的同名诗《Down By the Salley Garden》谱曲而成,又名《柳园里》,是叶芝早年的诗作。他的早年作品韵律优美,感情细腻,辞藻华丽,象征意味浓郁,明显受到英国浪漫主义和法国象征主义诗歌的影响。

《柳园里》原名为《旧歌新唱》。作者自注:“斯莱戈县巴利索戴尔村,有老妪常独吟,叩其词,不识亦不知。辩其声,可解者仅得三行,足而成之”。
此诗语言质朴,一咏三叹。全部使用单音节和双音节的常用词,只有“salley”也许不那么常见,但是,这个词却又对诗中感情的表达有着重要意义。柳树从原型意义来讲与悲伤的情绪有联系,字风雨中纤细的柳枝摇摆不定,这恰恰与人们在悲伤的风雨中无助的境况相似。另外。诗中使用重复的手法来烘托诗的主题:失落的爱。这种重复不仅是词语的重复(如 young and foolish),而且是句式的重复。第二节与第一节的句法大致相同。明显不同的地方,则出现在每节的结尾,以此表现自己失意之悔恨。

其次,这首诗在时态的运用上也有独特之处。全诗除了最后半行用现在时以外都是用过去时态。这说明过去对人们的现在具有十分重要的意义。在诗的最后,诗人用一般现在时,尤其意味深长。虽然对现在情况的描述只有五个词便戛然而止,但是,由于诗人把这几个词放在全诗最突出的位置,所以给人以意犹未尽的感觉,读者可以通过这几个词来感受“我”的复杂的心灵世界。

附译本之一: 柳   园

青青园中柳,涩涩少年郎。
伊人白如雪,乌丝流月光。
素手共相执,脉脉诉衷肠。
情同河畔草,不共此水长。
不肯信伊语,稚子意轻狂。
今我来思忆,泣涕内心伤。

译本之二:《Down By the Salley Garden 》

Down by the Salley Gardens 走进莎莉花园
My love and I did meet 我和我的爱人相遇
She passed the Salley Gardens 她穿越莎莉花园
With little snow-white feet 踏著雪白的纤足
She bid me take love easy 她请我轻柔的对待这份情
As the leaves grow on the tree 像依偎在树上的群叶
But I being young and foolish 但我是如此年轻而无知
With her did not agree 不曾细听她的心声
In a field by the river 在河流畔的旷野
My love and I did stand我和我的爱人并肩伫立
And on my leaning shoulder在我的微倾的肩膀
She laid her snow-white hand是她柔白的手所倚
She bid me take life easy她请我珍重生命
As the grass grows on the weirs像生长在河堰的韧草
But I was young and foolish但我是如此年轻而无知
And now am full of tears如今只剩下无限的泪水
Down by the Salley Gardens走进莎莉花园
My love and I did meet我和我的爱人相遇
She passed the Salley Gardens她穿越莎莉花园
With little snow-white feet踏著雪白的孅足
She bid me take love easy 她请我轻柔的对待这份情
As the leaves grow on the tree像依偎在树上的群叶
But I being young and foolish但我是如此年轻而无知
With her did not agree不曾细听她的心声
But I was young and foolish但我是如此年轻而无知
And now am full of tears如今只剩下无限的泪水

译本之三:

Down by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
斯遇佳人,仙苑重深;
She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
玉人雪趾,往渡穿林;
She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
嘱我适爱,如叶逢春;
But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree.
我愚且顽,负此明言;
In a field by the river my love and I did stand;
斯水之畔,与彼曾伫;
And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
比肩之处,玉手曾拂;
She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
嘱我适世,如荇生堰;
But I was young and foolish, and now I am full of tears.
惜我愚顽,唯余泣叹。

以上三种译文,其一差强人意,盖译者略谙旧诗,以五言乐府译,讨巧。但附会颇多,牵强,如“  素手共相执,脉脉诉衷肠。”盖自《古诗十九首》生吞活剥,与原文无涉。“ 情同河畔草,不共此水长。”则茫然费解。

其二为散文体,大白话,不说也罢。但还是忍不住说一句,“像依偎在树上的群叶”,叶子加了复数,树何以不加?按此逻辑,应译为“像依偎在树们上的群叶们”。

译文三以诗经体,效颦东施,弄巧成拙。“玉人雪趾,往渡穿林”竟使我想起喜马拉雅山的雪人。“比肩之处”在哪里?在二人肩膀之间的空隙吗?然则,“玉手曾拂”是拂哪里,拂空气?

话是这么说,还得感谢三位译者,他们给我提供了参考。我并未比,也是五十笑百步。“凌波微步,罗袜生尘”就是《洛神赋》上的成句,生搬硬套,背离原文太远。

With little snow-white feet曾想起《硕人》中“手如柔荑”,或红楼《芙蓉诔》写晴雯之之“莲瓣无声”,可爱尔兰少女不裹脚啊,虽然手足之肤色大体相当,然以手易足,无乃太过乎?聊斋之陆判官当能为之,呵呵。

总之,懂不懂原文,看英语能力,译得好不好,看母语能力。译无定法,宜五言则五言,宜散体则散体,不必拘牵。

久旱逢雨,心情稍舒,临窗记此,聊博一粲。